The Art of Deep Listening: To Others, To Your Body, and To Yourself
The response to my last post on curiosity was wonderful! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
One thread kept weaving its way through our conversations:
To be truly curious, you also have to be able to listen.
And here’s where it gets interesting and a little humbling.
Why Most of Us Were Never Taught to Listen
Listening is a skill. And most of us were never actually taught how to do it.
We all want to be heard. But genuinely hearing someone else? That doesn’t come naturally. We want our point acknowledged. We want our experience validated. We’re often waiting for our turn to speak rather than fully receiving what’s being said.
We think we’re being helpful when we respond with a shared experience — “oh, that happened to me too” — but more often than not, that quietly redirects the conversation back to us. And the original sharer is left feeling a little less held than before.
The art of deep listening asks something different of us. It asks us to set down our own story for a moment. To listen without judgment, without reaction, without the impulse to add. To let what someone is saying fully land before we decide what to do with it.
That kind of listening is rare. And it’s one of the most profound gifts we can offer another person.
Turning Deep Listening Inward
Now… what if we turned that same quality of listening inward?
This is where it gets layered. Because inner listening can be broken down into two distinct skills, and neither one is taught to us.
Somatic Listening
The first is somatic listening, the practice of hearing what your body is communicating.
Dr. Gabor Maté explores this beautifully in When the Body Says No, a book I return to often and highly recommend. We’ve all experienced the body talking back: an overuse injury, chronic tension, low back pain that just won’t resolve. The body is always communicating. The question is whether we’ve learned to listen — or whether we push through until it speaks louder.
Somatic listening is a core part of the art of deep listening because the body often knows what the mind is still working to understand.
Intuitive Listening
The second is intuitive listening, the more subtle, quieter, and arguably even harder one to tune into.
I had an experience recently where I didn’t listen to my own intuition. I overthought it. I rationalized past the quiet suggestion it was offering and made a small mistake I’m now practicing self-compassion around. My intuition knew. I just didn’t listen.
Both somatic and intuitive listening are practices. They require consistency, patience, and a willingness to keep showing up even when the signal feels faint.
Why This Work Changes Everything
This is some of the most meaningful work I do with clients.
So much of what keeps us cycling through the same patterns isn’t a lack of awareness — it’s a lack of access. Access to what the body has been trying to say. Access to the inner knowing that’s been whispering underneath the noise of the mind.
When we develop the art of deep listening at that depth, everything shifts. The fragments begin to make a mosaic. The answers that felt just out of reach start to surface — not from the outside, but from within.
This is the difference between knowing something intellectually and actually being able to live it. Between understanding a pattern and finally being free of it.
Where to Go From Here
If this is resonating, this is exactly the kind of exploration we do together in my work as a spiritual counselor. You can learn more or reach out on the Well Grounded Soul website whenever you feel ready.
And if you want to go a little deeper first, Bert, Courtney, and I explore inner listening — and so much more — on Inner Threads. Come find us wherever you listen to podcasts.
As always, thank you for being part of the community here at The Well Grounded Soul and 1440 Health Collective.
Much love,
Jessica
