September 28, 2023
Humans have always been storytellers. Since the beginning of time, we’ve been fascinated with the spoken and written word, which can spark our imagination or revive our memories.
Remember campfire stories when you were a kid? As the fire crackled and danced in the dark, a voice cut through the silence, captivating you with all kinds of tales.
We’ve always had an ingrained need to share our stories, whether it’s tales around a campfire or etchings on a cave wall. It’s how we connect with others, imagine new worlds, or share our history with future generations.
With storytelling ingrained in the human experience, it’s no wonder that we also craft stories that we tell ourselves – about who we believe we are. But these kinds of stories aren’t always good or healthy. Sometimes, they’re rooted in limiting beliefs that prevent us from healing.
As a spiritual counselor, people often come to me when they feel stuck in life and can’t move forward. They share their stories with me – and I can see how much they hold on to them. They’re so attached to a limiting belief that it’s shaped their lives in many negative ways.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
If you’re holding on to stories that don’t serve you anymore, you can let them go. You can untangle the limiting beliefs that are holding you back – and find clarity in your life.
The first step is understanding why you cling to these stories. Then, you can adjust your thinking and learn to let go.
From the moment we’re born, we form beliefs about the world around us and how we fit into it. Over time, these beliefs become part of our identity and transform into stories we tell ourselves.
So we cling to them – afraid to let them go.
But these stories aren’t always true. They can be false ideas that hold us back from our full potential. When that happens, these stories are referred to as limiting beliefs. They’re ‘limiting’ because they stop us from moving forward or taking action.
These limiting beliefs and stories can be so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even realize we’re holding on to them. I’ve seen this countless times in my work. One time, in particular, stands out more than most.
I used to help my clients heal through intuitive manual therapy. One day before a session, my client asked me, “Jessica, am I the tighest person you ever worked on?”
My immediate reaction was, “What? No! Why would you ask me that?” I was shocked by her question because I never thought that at all – and being “the most” of anything is a heavy burden to bear.
As it turns out, 30 years ago, my client was on a cruise and decided to treat herself to a massage. During the session, the massage therapist told my client she was the tightest person they’d ever worked on – even tighter than professional athletes.
When she shared this with me, I immediately asked her, “How did that make you feel?” Her response: “Terrible!” So I responded with, “Why don’t we change that story?”
For 30 years, my client held onto the limiting belief, “I’m the tightest person in the whole world.” She attached herself to that story – even though it wasn’t true, and it made her feel bad.
I knew that she needed to change her story. But I also knew that this was embedded in her identity – so it would take more than just me reassuring her she wasn’t the tightest person in the whole world. We had to continuously work together to replace her limiting belief with an empowering idea that better served her.
But if this story caused her so much suffering, why did my client hold on to it for so long?
Thirty years is a long time to hold onto a negative attachment, but it’s something that everyone experiences – especially when it comes to our health.
We all have thoughts that we believe to be absolute truths. And that’s ok! But when we hold onto these truths to the point where we avoid healing, that’s when they become problems – and can have harmful effects on our lives.
So, why do we cling to these stories so firmly? Because our brains want to protect us from the future. Our minds work hard to avoid feelings of:
When we feel safe and comfortable, it’s easier to distract ourselves from facing what we don’t want to confront. This leads us to limit new experiences and thought patterns – which means we stop moving forward and learning about ourselves.
Usually, a significant life transition is what jolts us into realizing things need to change. Once we start examining the stories we’re clinging to, we can find ways to change these beliefs – and new ways of living and thinking open up.
The stories we tell ourselves don’t have to live on forever. If they’re not providing anything positive, it’s time to let them go. Doing this can lead to:
Letting go of our stories and limiting beliefs is the first step on the path to self-discovery and transformation. But how exactly do we change them when they’re so ingrained in our identity?
Let’s start with some smaller examples of limiting beliefs. Have you ever had any of these thoughts?
Now, if your best friend came to you and told you one of these things, would you nod your head and agree? No. You’d give them some advice that’s kind and encouraging.
Those words you tell your best friend… those are the same ones you should tell yourself when you encounter a story you want to change. That simple process – transforming the way you think about yourself – is all it takes to overcome your limiting beliefs.
Sounds easy, right? Oh, how I wish that were true!
The process, in theory, is relatively easy – but putting it into practice is a lot more difficult. Because our stories have an immense impact and long-term effect on us (as you saw with my client who held onto a story for over 30 years).
We might not even be aware of this impact until we decide to make a change. So, I recommend using spiritual healing techniques or working with a spiritual counselor (like me) who can guide you through the transformation process.
Stories you’re attached to – especially regarding your health – need to be released. They prevent you from moving forward because your limiting beliefs make you think change isn’t possible.
But if you continue to hold onto them, there isn’t room for new ideas, inner growth, or self-discovery. So you have to let them go.
Realizing that it’s time to change these stories can feel overwhelming. And that’s ok! The good news is you don’t have to navigate this alone. As a spiritual counselor, I’m here to help you let go of the stories that no longer serve you.
So you can discover new parts of yourself and find clarity about who you really are.