Imagine standing at the edge of a vast ocean of emotions. Your feelings come in waves, ebbing and flowing with the rhythm of life’s experiences. You might feel…
- A gentle tug of nostalgia
- A sudden surge of joy
- An undercurrent of anxiety
…pulling at your feet. These moments are rich with emotion and integral to our human experience. Yet, we often find ourselves hesitant to step into the water – fearing the depth of what lies beneath.
This reluctance is perfectly normal.
When you allow yourself to feel your emotions, it can be scary, uncomfortable, and unsafe. Because your emotions aren’t mere reactions to events – they’re a profound insight into your inner self.
But as a spiritual counselor, I encourage you to allow yourself to feel safe enough to experience whatever you’re feeling. I want you to feel your emotions, understand that emotional flux can occur, and learn how to strengthen the connection with your emotional self.
So you feel safe enough to wade into this ocean of emotion with confidence. And the first step is understanding the connection between yourself and your emotions.
What Does It Mean to Feel Your Emotions?
Feeling your emotions goes beyond simply recognizing them. It also involves a deep engagement with every sensation that passes through your psyche.
As I’ve seen many times with my clients, we often feel uncertain and unsafe in the face of strong emotions. To cope and protect ourselves, our mind shields and cuts us off from our bodies and emotions. We believe that if we let ourselves feel strong emotions, we’ll fall apart.
But the opposite is actually true. If you give yourself permission to feel, you’ll start to heal. You’ll discover a safe space in your mind to explore what your body and emotions are trying to communicate to you.
The process of allowing yourself to feel your emotions is similar to acknowledging the presence of a friend – because you give space and attention to your feelings without rushing to judgment or action.¹ To feel your emotions, you can do things like:
- Naming your emotions.
- Noticing where you feel them in your body.
- Understanding what triggered your emotions to occur.
- Letting your emotions occur without judgment.
- Giving yourself permission to feel your emotions.¹
Learning how to feel your emotions is a key skill in emotional intelligence – it can improve your mental health and build your emotional resilience.²
Why Should I Feel My Emotions?
The short answer is yes!
Feeling your emotions isn’t just ok – it’s fundamental to your physical, spiritual, and psychological selves. Because emotions are integral to our experience as human beings, they act as indicators of our deepest desires and needs.
Allowing yourself to feel your emotions prevents the buildup of unprocessed feelings, which can lead to emotional blockages and mental health issues.³ So acknowledging and embracing your feelings is a powerful step toward self-empowerment and whole-body wellness.
Is It Wrong to Not Feel Your Emotions?
Now, you might be thinking, “Sometimes, I don’t want to feel my emotions. I want to turn them off or ignore them. Is that ok?”
For a short time – yes, that’s ok. We all have times when we need a reprieve from what we’re feeling. This disconnection can serve as a temporary coping mechanism, especially during challenging or chaotic times in our lives.
But long-term avoidance can lead to emotional numbness and hinder personal growth. It can cause increased anxiety and avoidance behaviors – which is why it’s so important to allow yourself to feel your emotions.²
So while it’s natural to sometimes feel disconnected from your emotions, reconnecting with them is vital for overall well-being.
How Do I Connect With My Emotions?
Connecting with your emotions is a transformative journey that requires patience, understanding, and a safe environment. This healing journey is like deciphering a map of your inner world – you’ll discover areas that need attention and nurturing.
Here are five ways you can start the process today:
- Name Your Emotions – Start by recognizing your feelings as they are, without judgment or expectation. When a feeling pops up, give it a name, even if it’s as simple as “happy” or “sad.”
- Notice Where & How You Feel Your Emotions – Listening to your body is important because your body often holds onto echoes of strong emotions. Pay attention to unusual sensations and ask yourself, “What am I feeling? Am I hot, cold, tight, loose, tired, energized, etc?”
- Accept & Feel Your Emotions – Don’t fight or feed your emotions. Simply feel them. This helps you better understand your emotions and improve your emotional regulation.³ Over time, your mind and body will start to accept that it’s ok (and safe enough) for you to allow emotions to express themselves.
- Find the Root Cause of Your Emotions – After you start recognizing and accepting your emotions, try to discover why you’re feeling this emotion in the first place. Ask yourself – “Where is this emotion coming from?” or “What message is my body or mind trying to tell me?”
- Let Go of Your Emotions – Emotions are temporary sensations or states of mind. They’re not meant to be held onto forever and leave your body about 90 seconds after you feel them. So, if you’re still feeling an emotion after an experience or event, it’s most likely because your mind is holding on to it. In this case, you have to make a conscious effort to let go of your emotions or set them aside.⁴
The goal with all of these techniques is to try to understand the profound messages your emotions are conveying. By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you can embark on a path filled with self discovery, growth, and healing.
How a Spiritual Counselor Can Help You Feel
Navigating life experiences often causes you to confront a spectrum of emotions – and it’s very easy to avoid feeling them. But over time, this can have harmful effects. So it’s important to give yourself permission to feel your emotions and try to understand what caused them to occur.
As a spiritual counselor, I can offer gentle guidance that helps you rediscover and understand your emotional self. By creating a safe and nurturing environment, I can help you journey back to emotional connectedness using techniques like:
You can learn how to navigate the complexities of your emotions, transform uncertainty into clarity, and feel empowered enough to feel your emotions on your healing journey.
Sources:
- Khidekel, Marina. “Here’s How to Actually Sit With Your Sadness.” Wondermind, Wondermind, 12 Sept. 2022, www.wondermind.com/article/feel-your-feelings/.
- Beckner, Victoria Lemle. “The Key Skill We Rarely Learn: How to Feel Your Feelings.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 26 Sept. 2023, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/harnessing-principles-change/202010/the-key-skill-we-rarely-learn-how-feel-your-feelings.
- Boone, Matthew S, et al. “Feel Emotions—Don’t Fight or Feed Them.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 29 Oct. 2021, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stop-avoiding-stuff/202110/feel-emotions-dont-fight-or-feed-them.
- Team Calm. “How to *actually* Feel Your Feelings: A Guide to Processing Your Emotions.” Calm Blog, Calm Blog, 10 Oct. 2023, www.calm.com/blog/how-to-feel-your-feelings.
